


Fruit Bats Omake: The Unforgotten

by TooQueensWight



Series: Fruit Bats Omake [1]
Category: Dracula - Bram Stoker, 終わりのセラフ | Owari no Seraph | Seraph of the End
Genre: Bad Jokes, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Not Serious, Omake, One Shot, Out of Character, Spoilers, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 03:29:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6178495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooQueensWight/pseuds/TooQueensWight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Between the end of the first act and the start of the second, something that doesn't actually happen happens. It's confusing, it's unprofessionally written, characters act out-of-character and the whole thing shouldn't be taken seriously. Deadpool would be proud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fruit Bats Omake: The Unforgotten

**Author's Note:**

> (Note: This story would take place immediately after Chapter 5 of _Fruit Bats: Smoothie Bar of the Damned_ if it really happened. Which it didn't.)

"D… Duwacula?" Ichiro paused. "Don't you mean Dra--"

Before he could finish the word… Guren Ichinose burst forth into the break room. Ichiro, Mikael, and Cami looked at him in shock. Tom and Chad entered from another door, and blinked at the arrival of the newcomer. Smartly dressed in the black-and-green uniform of the Imperial Demon Army, he turned his gaze to each of the individuals in the room. So stunned by his sudden appearance, not a one of them could speak.

" _WHY AM I NOT IN THIS STORY_!?" Guren yelled at the crowd.

There were lots of blinking eyes and confused looks. Finally, Ichiro spoke up. "Pardon us?"

"I said, why am I not in this story?" Guren marched over to Ichiro and glared down at the shorter gentleman. " _You're_ here, _he's_ here--" he said as he pointed accusatorily at Mikeal, "--and I'm pretty sure _that's_ Shinoa!" he added, pointing now to Cami.

Cami shrugged and nodded. "Did the purple hair give it away?" she asked coyly.

" _Shut up_! What I want to know is, if this is just one big _Seraph of the End_ fan fiction… Where's MY character!? I'm _important_!"

Ichiro seemed confused. "Um… sir… if we're all different, why would you be… _you_?" he asked carefully.

Before Guren could respond, Mikael piped up. "No, you're Yuu." He pointed at Ichiro.

Ichiro blinked. Guren tried to speak up but Ichiro interrupted. "I'm me?"

"No, I'm Mi," Mikael explained.

"If you're me, and I'm you… who is he?" Ichiro asked, gesturing to Guren, who seemed to be turning a very angry shade of red.

Cami chimed in. "Third base!"

"THIS IS A STUPID JOKE!" Guren screamed at the top of his lungs. He drew the Cursed Gear, Mahiru-no-Yo, and darkness began to seep throughout the break room. Somehow, Tom and Chad had gotten hold of a bag of popcorn and were munching on it while the scene unfolded, but now looked quite nervous at the black streaks that were running over the floor, the walls, and even the ceiling. "I demand that there be a Guren expy in the story, or I will _destroy all of your minds_!"

Cami blinked. "Is… that how the sword works?"

Guren blinked back. "Y-yeah! I think!" Ichiro, Mikael and Cami seemed unconvinced. " _Shut up_! I've been using Cursed Gear longer than any of you!"

Ichiro sighed. "Well obviously, Cursed Gear isn't really a thing in this universe."

Mikael nodded in agreement. "There hasn't even been a sword yet. Which makes a certain amount of sense, given this is a modern-day-alternate-universe-style setting…"

"THAT WAS TOO MANY HYPHENS!" He raised his hand and charged at Mikael, bringing down the sword in an arc that would cleave the vampire in two. However… Mikael simply caught the sword in his hand. It didn't even cut his flesh.

"Please stop this. Your outburst is _dramatically_ out of character and much sillier than even this odd-ball universe normally is." Mikael sighed.

Guren grit his teeth and tried to force the sword down closer to Mikael, but he didn't seem to have the strength. Was Mikael that much stronger than Mikaela? "I won't let you leave me out! Or… turn me into Yuu's adoptive father! Ugh, that's what _everybody_ does!" He grunted and used both hands, trying desperately to push the sword into Mikael. "Or worse, they'll expand on my friend ship with--"

"Me?" Shinya Hiiragi walked into the breakroom with a smirk and a shrug, followed close behind by Sayuri Hanayori, who looked very nervous. "Honestly Guren, you're acting like you're possessed."

Guren glared at Shinya. "AHEM! _Spoiler warning_!!!"

"Oh as if anyone reading this hasn't watched the entire anime yet. Although, if you haven't… please support the official release." Then Shinya winked at you. Weird.

Sayuri bit her lip before speaking. "Should I even be here? Technically I'm the librarian who checked out that book to Ichiro…"

Shinya gave her shoulder a pat before walking over to Guren. "You're fine Sayuri. This is all omake nonsense anyway. Don't worry gentleman--and Cami--we'll be gone in a moment."

Guren turned to look at Shinya with worry, even as he pressed his futile attack against Mikael. "No! You don't understand! The author is filling this story with original characters! I'll be overlooked! We'll all be--" he tried to say, before Shinya knocked him out with the butt of Byakkomaru. Guren nearly fell over in his unconscious state, but Shinya caught him and lifted him up to carry Guren out over his shoulder.

"Honestly, he's acting like a child… And what's so wrong with pairing him and me together? It's 2016, be a little open minded…" He carried Guren out even as Sayuri sighed and bowed to the crowd.

"We apologize for the interruption." And with that, she was gone, closing the door behind her.

Ichiro looked at Mikael. Cami looked at Ichiro. Chad and Tom ate popcorn. Finally, to break the silence, Mikael simply said, "I could have beat him."


End file.
